Like I said before, she lost her hair. But, to be fair in documenting this whole thing, it wasn't ALL of her hair on her head. She actually had a few tufts around her ears and near her neck. So, what to do... what to do... We pondered this and after oh, a minute or so, she asked her husband to "just shave it all off". I was so worried about his reaction to seeing her without hair. I mean, I had seen her in the bathroom, but he hadn't seen her yet. What I didn't know what that he had seen the huge amount of hair in the trash can. He got the idea then. It's just that actually Seeing it is different. Anyway, so he has this shop out in the garage that he calls home. Lots of tools and gizmos and different "guy" stuff. Kinda not interesting in my opinion, but hey, I'm a girl. So, mom gets a chair, his electric razor, and sits down in the middle of the table sander and the electric table saw. What a momentous occasion. I asked before I took the pictures because I didn't want mom to think I was a strange person or anything... she said I was Way before this, so what surprise is that! lol (She still has a sense of humor anyway!) You'll see the pictures of the day my mom shaved her head. She's got a few stubble left, but for the most part, she looks like Kojak's little sister. Her husband was so kind after he shaved the hair off - he used the power air hose to blow the hair off her head, shoulders and such. He did it from the back and I have to say, out of all this garbage that's going on, to see my mom's ears flapping forwards and her scalp do the wave, was quite the funny looking thing! I guess her hair begins to grow back right before each treatment. Probably looks like a cactus of sorts... I'll help her shave it until she's done with the
It happened. I knew it would. I thought I was prepared.
She came out of the shower and opened the door.
Wrapped in a towel was my beautiful mom.
All her hair was in the bottom of the tub.
When I say it was a shock, I mean I sucked in air and felt a bit faint.
I started crying. I didn't mean to... I just did. She cried too.
We hugged for a while. Still, I hadn't seen her head yet because it was wrapped up in a towel.
As I prepared myself to look at it, mom said, "This is good. This means I'm going to get better."
Then the towel came off.
I've read so many blogs and articles about people undergoing treatments and how their hair falls out, but no one really puts the actual moment into words. It's terrible, horrifying, and it just plain sucks.
But, at the same time I was in awe. She has such a positive attitude. I hope I can be like her.
We did all this before church this morning. I went to church sporting red-rimmed eyes. She came to church sporting her new wig. She looked beautiful! I mean, really. She smiled and greeted people and sang and listened. I'm telling you, it was amazing. Then, she decided to hang around afterwords and wanted to visit with people and have coffee!
I personally would have run home (if I would have gone out at all) and cried some more.
Anyway, we shall see what this afternoon brings...
The debate is still on. Shave or not. For the past two mornings, she's asked me to comb through her hair and get the "loose" ones. Well, mom, pretty much, they're all loose. Yesterday, I got a pretty decent amount out. This morning, I got probably that much plus a bit more. However, yesterday it was only coming out the top of her head. Today I could "pull" the hair out at the nape of her neck. Didn't even hurt her. No resistance. Big amounts at a time. She asked if it looked alright. Well, mom, yes it does - pretty much. I mean, you've always had really, really thick hair. Now you just look like all the other women that have thin hair. You can see your scalp in some places but you still have pretty much even hair coverage. However, I don't know if I can say that too much longer. She just came in here and said, "You'll tell me when I have to wear a cap or something so I don't look ugly" - or something like that. Oh my goodness mom - you can never look ugly! But yes, I'll tell you. I wonder what she's going to be thinking the first time she wears a wig out in public. Will she be thinking, "I wonder if they can tell?" or "This is too hot" or "I wanna go home" or... Will she even go out? I don't know. I have a feeling that will be next week though. The vacuum is going to be getting a work out. Plus, hair in our food? Yeah, well, 1. It's mom's, 2. It's clean, 3. We didn't pay for the meal, 4. what's a little extra fiber?, and 5. Mom always puts her EVERYTHING in her love for cooking!
She apologized for asking me for asprin. She says she doesn't want to take it from my supply. Dear God. I'd give her every thing I have if she needed/wanted it.
There's so much hair coming out now. It's quite amazing to see her hair coming out by the hundreds, yet she's still got a full head of hair. It's thinning, but still there. I don't know if it will last like that or if she'll go bald. She says it's not bothering her. It's bothering me though. My mom is supposed to look a certain way. I don't want her to change. She's doing this whole thing for her family. I love her for that. Selfless and amazingly strong. She's having a good day today. :)
This whole hair thing is up in the air. She has her hair still. Last time she went to the doctor, she mentioned that her scalp hurt and the doc said that that's a sign that her hair will fall out really soon. Well, I see a few more hairs on her shirt and pillow than before, but for the most part, she's got a full head of hair. She was going to shave it all off last week because it hurt so bad but she changed her mind. Then she was going to have it cut really, really short so that when it fell out, it wouldn't be so bad, but then she changed her mind. I hope it doesn't come out in chunks.
I guess when everything is going well, there's not a lot to write about. So, I haven't said much. I do know that mom's hair is hurting. Actually, where the hair meets the scalp is what hurts. She said she actually can't wait until it falls out if it's going to hurt that much.
To update the hospital incident, she was fine. She just had stomach pain so severe that she couldn't stand up. They took good care of her and she was able to come home after five hours. But, because of the chemo treatments, her veins aren't that great. They tried and tried to give her saline but the iv wouldn't work. She's so bruised up still!
Anyway, today is her second treatment. After this, she'll be half way done. The thing is, it's taking so long. It's supposed to only take about two hours, but we're going on four. I can't go in there and see why. I hope there are no complications. I just worry and worry.
When she gets over being sick the three or four days after the treatment, she is basically "normal". She gets tired, but other than that, not too bad. I hope it continues that way.
